The Misadventures of Robin Sam
by BlueMyst19
Summary: From the brilliant mind of the writer who brought you Lilacs, produced by the warped goddess of Disclosures, BlueMyst19 and Nonny the Anon One are proud to present an amusing Danny Phantom parody of Robin Hood! On hiatus. Sorry guys.
1. In Which there is a prologue

**And so it… begins. **

**Yes kiddos, brand new multi-chapter fic! Me the Anon One and I were talking and she said someone should do a Danny Phantom Robin Hood parody. We jumped right away to the idea of a Robin Sam, rather than a Danny Hood. So in this fic, Sam is the hero.**

**This fic is rated T for some yuri, romance, and perhaps some other adult themes. **

**Some other notes: this is D/S. J/T. Ember/femaleOC. Maddie/Jack. Onesided Vlad/Sam. Nonny is also my editor in every sense of the word on this fic. She has all the Robin Hood knowledge, so yeah. She'll be helping me A LOT.**

**Neither Nonny or I own anything to do with Danny Phantom or Robin Hood. (Although I might call Robin Hood public domain, but there ya go. Just be safe…)**

Without further ado… 

**The Misadventures of Robin Sam**

Prologue

A wild blue-haired bard strummed her guitar and motioned to those nearby to come sit with her.

_Gather round dear friends and listen well_

_A most intriguing story I'm about to tell…_

_You've all heard of the legendary Robin Sam_

_But I tell you she's real, as sure as I am_

_I met her once, I swear on my life_

_And she told me of her romance, her anger, and strife_

_She helped me reunite with my lost love_

_Surely, she is a gift from above_

_But gather round friends and listen well,_

_A most intriguing story I'm about to tell…_

Friar Tuck threw a smirk at a blushing woman of about his own age. The firelight illuminated the small clearing they were hiding in, dancing around her short black hair and violet eyes. It was hard to tell if she was more embarrassed or infuriated at the apparent mutiny of her band of merry thieves. Robin Sam did not like to be embarrassed, or infuriated.

"Oh come on, Sam, it's all in fun!" The friar teased as he poked her.

"I don't find it funny!" The honorable thief, dressed in tight black pants and a deep violet men's tunic, protested.

The Merry Men hooted and hollered with laughter. Although Robin Sam was their leader, it was too precious to pass up the opportunity to hassle her about her feelings for a certain boy of Nottingham.

"Oh," Jazz Scarlet chimed in. She too, was dressed also rather peculiarly for a woman of her time in tan leather pants and a turquoise tunic that matched her eyes, "I'm sure _Maid_ Danny would find it amusing…"

Robin Sam rolled her eyes in exasperation "Why do you insist on calling him 'maid?' He's no more a girl than our dear Friar. He's just poetic. The lot of you are only jealous."

This earned her more laughter.

Sam stood and angrily threw her small dagger at Friar Tuck. It hit the ground just between his feet, the point jabbed into the ground.

The twenty-one year old Moorish Friar drew back in fear as though at any moment the dagger would leap up and cut his throat. Everyone else immediately shut up.

"That's enough, all of you!" Sam bellowed. She retrieved her knife and brandished it at her band of thieves.

"Oh no," one of the younger one mocked, "we've made her angry! She's going to sick Maid Danny on us!" The unwary youngster chortled to himself, unaware of the silence around him.

Before anyone could blink, Sam was behind the boy, holding the dagger against his neck. "Say it again. I _dare_ you." Suddenly, she froze solid, the blade still pressing against the foolish boy's throat. Her alert lilacs eyes darted around in search of something.

No one else seemed to notice her alarm. "Sam," Friar Tuck began, "Let the kid go, he's new, he doesn't know any better."

"Shut up," Sam hissed. She continued listening intently, but received only the night music of the forest.

"Sam, relax," Jazz chided, "there's nothing there, you're being paranoid."

"Shut up!" Robin Sam commanded softly. "There it is again!" She released the boy and padded stealthily to where she presumed the noise was coming from, the blade of her trusty knife thrust out before her. Sam was easily one the most sly people in of Sherwood forest and Nottingham. She could sneak up on anyone or anything without being seen or heard until the very last second. "Show yourself!" She demanded. "Show yourself or we will be forced to attack!"

A woman, probably a few years older than Sam, with odd blue hair and a guitar slung round her back appeared. Clad in a simple blue dress, her pale skin and magenta eyes stood out even more in the firelight. "You're the one the called Robin Sam, yes?"

"I am."

"And you help those in need?"

"Yes. Is there something you need?"

"I am Ember of the Dell. And yes, there is something I require your help with."

Sam gestured to the open spaces by the fire and Ember sat down, Sam following her. "So, what is it that you need our help with? Surely it must be important, for it is not safe for a woman to be wandering Sherwood at such a time of night."

"I'm used to wandering at night. I'm a bard," Ember explained. "But, yes, what I need your help with is very important. It concerns an… arranged marriage," Ember had been told by several of the elders in town, who knew almost everything, that Robin Sam hated anything that had to do with arranged marriage. No one knew the exact reason why, but it was said that you were assured Sam's help if your problem concerned arranged marriage.

Sam leaned toward the fire, a strange look falling over her face. All the Merry Men were silent. "Go on," she said curtly.

"My lover, she-"

"SHE!" A few of the men, including Friar Tuck, who was the loudest, jumped to their feet and shouted. Ember winced, preparing herself to be banished from the campsite.

Robin Sam shot them all back to their seats with one glare, which she rounded last on Tuck. "Well aren't we one to talk Mr. I'm a Friar in love involved with a woman when I'm not supposed to be?"

The infamous Jazz Scarlet suddenly turned a peculiar shade, equivalent to that of her name. "Um… excuse me, Sam, I think I left something… uh… over there," she said and pointed in some ambiguous direction, before standing and following her finger's direction.

Tucker glared at Sam, which lost about half its force due to the redness overcoming his face. He stood up silently and turned in the general, but not same, direction Jazz had gone. "I have to… go say some prayers now. For your soul, Robin Sam," he told her warningly, but Sam just rolled her eyes.

"Prayers. Right," she said slowly, clearly not convinced. She turned back to Ember and gestured impatiently. "Continue."

"My lover, Marina, she's being forced to marry a nobleman she doesn't care for. And I, of course, do not want her to marry him. It's not that he's horrible or anything, Robin Sam, it's just that she does not love him. She loves me and I just need your help to find her. You see, her father knows about us and he's taken her away, I don't know where, except that it's nearer to Nottingham than farther, but I need to get to her before she marries…" Ember paused, "but I understand completely if you do not wish to help someone like myself."

"Someone like you?" The entire camp seemed to lean forward in interest, making Ember nervous.

"A woman who loves another woman," Ember muttered quietly.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Sam asked in bewilderment. "Love is love."

"W-well…"

"Look, Ember," Little Jack finally piped up, "Don't you worry at all. Robin Sam is not the sort of person who cares about that kind of thing. If you want our help to find your Marina, you've got it."

Ember smiled warily, slightly intimidated by the mountain of a man before her. Little Jack was in no way little. He was a huge, hulking man with graying black hair and fierce blue eyes that shone with battles of the past, but he had a very gentle nature. "T-thank yo-you," she stammered.

Robin Sam nodded. "He's right. We'll set off first thing in the morning. We will help you find Marina. For now, you will stay with us."

"Bless you all," Ember gushed.

Drinks and stories were passed around, along with Ember's guitar and a few songs until Jazz returned; her red hair slightly more mussed than it was before she'd left.

She walked over to Sam. "He wants to talk to you…" She gestured over her shoulder with her thumb.

Sam nodded and walked out into the woods, her dark hair and clothes disappearing among the black outside the firelight. "Tuck?" She called. Sam's eyes adjusted quickly to the lack of light.

"Right here."

Sam sat down beside him on a log. For awhile, the only sound that hung between them was night music and the noise of camp. "What's up?"

"Sam, you know, if my superiors find out about Ember…" he started to say, his voice soft and filled with worry, and Sam instantly knew what he meant.

"Tucker! Just be quiet! You've got no right to say anything about Ember! Besides, your superiors think you're on sabbatical. They've got no idea you're running from them with a kind outlaw who took pity on you simply because you fell in love when you weren't supposed to."

"But Sam it's not-"

"Not what? Not right? Well, you being with Jazz isn't right either, but there you have it. Open your mind Tucker, just let it go. She needs our help."

"Fine. I'm sorry," and he was, he knew better than most the secrets and burdens his friend carried in her heart.

"Hey Tuck…" Sam said softly after a little bit of comfortable silence, the talk of forbidden love had made her unhappy and unsettled. "Can you give me a moment?"

Tuck smiled, understanding her sudden sadness and stood. "Of course," he walked back in the direction of camp.

Sam fell back onto the forest floor and sighed. "Don't worry, Danny," she whispered, "I'll be back soon…"


	2. In Which Little Jack Spins Some Yarn

**Chapter 1**

**Even though this story is being told with Ember as the narrator, she is still completely omniscient and tells things in third person. **

**The story is kind of a throw back to the Canterbury Tales. Each chapter progresses a story arch, while retelling stories of Robin Hood lore.**

Ember smiled and strummed her guitar again, her audience captivated completely.

_The yarn of Little Jack I shall now spin_

_For Robin Sam, he is like kin_

_Though bigger than a mountain and still a crook_

_He's gentler than any babbling brook_

_And while I was told of Little Jack_

_We journeyed to get mine and Sam's loves back_

_Gather round friends, and listen well_

_A most intriguing story I'm about to tell…_

"By my estimations," Jazz Scarlet said the next morning, "we're about fifty miles from Nottingham."

Robin Sam nearly gasped, nearly. How had they really gotten _that _far? No wonder she'd been missing Danny so badly. She hated to be away from him. Her Merry Men were, of course, exaggerating by calling him Maid Danny. He wasn't all that girly, but she supposed, to a bunch of uneducated men's men who were all very rough and rugged, the rather scrawny scholar of Nottingham would seem a bit effeminate. Sam herself was educated as well and liked to debate with Danny a lot. She sighed, throwing her head to the sky. She'd promised to come get him a long time ago, the moment Jazz had wandered into her camp, she'd wanted to rush back to Nottingham and rescue him, but… it just wasn't meant to happen then. But now… now that Ember was here: it was a sign. She was supposed to go back to the city now.

The horse Ember was riding came up slowly next to Sam's black and white stallion, the Phantom of Sherwood, or Phantom for short. "So… the large man… Jack?"

"Little Jack," Sam corrected, suddenly snapped from her reverie. "And his wife, Maddie."

"Right," Ember said, "how did you ever come to meet him?"

Little Jack walked up beside them, keeping up with the easy pace of the horses. "It's quite an amusing story, actually."

Robin Sam grinned impishly. "Aye, that it is," she agreed. "Jazz Scarlet!"

"Yea, Sam?"

"Pass the ale," Robin Sam grinned. Jazz grinned back and handed her leader the jug.

"Little girl, don't you think you should at least wait until dinner?" Little Jack asked with a grin, trying to take the ale from Robin Sam.

Ember watched in amusement as the violet eyed girl teased the large man by holding the jug above her head.

"Not a chance, Little Jack!" She took a huge swallow and handed the bottle back to Jazz.

"So… how did you two meet?" Ember inquired again. She had indeed been running low on ballads lately and was very piqued at the prospect of new material. Surely everyone would love to hear songs about the infamous Robin Sam, who stole from the rich and gave to the poor, who was in love with a nobleman from Nottingham, who was the bane of the evil sheriff, Vlad Masters.

Sam smiled at Ember. "Well, it really is quite funny, because you see, I needed to cross a bridge…

_A fourteen year old black haired girl staggered through Sherwood forest. She was tired and beaten, holding herself up by quarter staff, which seemed a little large for her use. A dagger hung loosely at her side and she was wearing pants and a tunic, not a dress. Her name was Samantha of Loxley and she was a runaway._

_She was trying to make her way out of Sherwood and the only way to get out was by crossing a single bridge at the river. When it was finally in sight, she breathed a sigh of relief. But her reprieve was short lived, for sitting on the rather thin log was the largest man Samantha had ever seen in her entire life. He was holding a fishing pole in the water and looked quite content with himself. The only problem was that he was taking up the entire log. There would be no way for Sam to get around him. _

_But Samantha of Loxley was no chicken, so she walked right up to him. "Excuse me, sir?" She said importantly._

_He only grunted, his slightly graying black hair shifting in the breeze. _

"_I was wondering if maybe you could move for a minute or so? I need to cross the bridge."_

"_No."_

"_Excuse me," Sam asked again politely._

At this point, Little Jack felt it necessary to barge in. "What? You were anything but polite, you scrawny little tomboy!"

Sam glared at him and took another swig of ale. "Who's telling this story!" She demanded.

"Well, if you're gonna do it, do it right," the hulking man countered.

"Fine."

Ember giggled as Jazz Scarlet chortled mirthfully.

"_Excuse me!" Samantha demanded. "I need to cross this bridge!"_

"_Stop your shrieking, ya banshee! You're scaring away my dinner!" He growled, then ever so rudely returned to his fishing._

_Samantha brandished her staff. "I'm prepared to fight you!" She threatened, more bravely than she felt._

_The man stood to his full height which was roughly the size of a barn, or a barge, or maybe a small mountain and loomed over her almost menacingly. "Oh yeah? You gonna fight me with a little twig, girl?"_

_The tiny (by comparison) girl glared and replied bravely, "Yeah!" Then some how managed to knock him soundly on his head._

_He picked up the end of the staff she was brandishing at him, easily lifting her up as she clung to it, squealing momentarily in shock as she was lifted into the air and held over the river. _

"_Put me down!" Samantha demanded. "I just wanna cross the damn bridge!"_

"_And I wanted to catch a fish for dinner!" Jack growled. "I guess neither of us gets what we want, huh?" He began shaking the pole with a grim but determined look on his face. Samantha fell into the water screaming in rage then gasping in shock as she splashed down into the icy brook._

_Fortunately, the water was calm and only knee deep, but she was soaking wet. "Argh! Who do you think you are!"_

"_The name's Jack," he answered cordially as he extended his hand in a friendly gesture._

_She giggled and shook his hand, "Little Jack," she instantly dubbed him with the blatantly ironic nickname._

_He smiled heartily at her. "Sure am," he stood with the intention of helping her out of the water and across the brook, now feeling sorry for the drenched girl, who was young enough to possibly be his daughter._

_Samantha, catching him off guard, yanked him into the water as well. "Now we're even," she laughed as he fell down with a loud splash._

_He sputtered a moment, then stared at her before laughing. "What's your name, girl?"_

"_Sam," she said. "Robin Sam."_

Jack smiled. "And then of course, I took her home with me."

"Where I met her," Maddie interjected. "She stole my beer," the red haired woman laughed. "But you didn't stay very long, did you Sam?"

"Nope, I went off and started my band of Merry Men."

Ember smiled. "So what happened then? Why are you two with her now?"

"The army came and took over our land in the name of Prince John, because we couldn't pay our taxes," Maddie answered. "We got kicked out of our home. Then Sam found us and made us part of her band."

Robin Sam smiled. "They took me in and I took them in," she said merrily. "But that is another story entirely. Jazz Scarlet!" Sam called.

"Yes Sam?"

"Pass the ale!"

Jazz handed over the alcohol, but smirked deviously at Robin Sam. "I'm going to tell Maid Danny on you. You know he doesn't like you to drink so much."

Robin Sam scoffed and took a very long swig. "That boy's mad if he thinks he can control me."

Jazz pouted her eyes twinkling with glee. "Awww… You're gonna break my little brother's heart… and then I'm gonna have to kill you."

Robin Sam laughed and threw the ale back to Jazz.

Ember was intrigued yet again. "Who is Maid Danny?"

Robin Sam made a face. "He's no maid. They just call him that because he's not a dumb, lumbering nitwit like the REST OF YOU LOT!" She coughed a little and smiled at Ember. It was very easy to see that both young women shared the profound connection of knowing what it was like to be very much in love. There was something in Ember's posture that seemed so strong, yet so entirely vulnerable. It was the same thing that made Sam's violet eyes sparking with such bittersweet happiness.

"He's my little brother," Jazz interrupted. "And Sam's _lover_," she cooed mockingly.

Robin Sam blushed.

"So… where is he?"

The jovial mood between the three girls quickly disappeared. Jazz and Sam remained completely silent.

Tucker rode up next to them, he'd been trailing slightly behind the whole way. "He's being held hostage," he explained to Ember.

"By who?"

"That lousy bastard sheriff," Robin Sam grumbled. "I swear, when I get my hands on Masters, I'll…"

Jack laid a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Easy there, girl. It's okay."

"Why's the sheriff holding him hostage?"

Tucker sighed heavily and continued. "He knows that if he holds Danny in Nottingham, Sam will eventually come to rescue him. At which point, we are certain, he plans to trade Danny's life for hers."

Ember nodded in understanding. "I see…"

-----------------------------

"You underestimate her," Danny glared at Vlad. "She's not stupid enough to fall for this trap."

"My dear boy, you underestimate the stupidity of a woman in love. She will come for you because she loves you. At which point, I will see to it that she is arrested."

"And then what? You'll hang her? The Merry Men will carry on without her, you know."

"They cannot. And I don't plan on hanging her," Vlad got right up into Danny's face. "No… such a remarkable young woman rightfully belongs to me. And I _shall_ have her…"

Danny let out a low, feral growl. "If you lay one hand on her, I swear, I will have your head."

Vlad merely laughed and left the room where he was holding Danny prisoner.

**Yay! Danny and Vlad make their first appearence! And the plot thickens... Please review! **


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